THE PARALLEL JOURNEY

When We Want to Help Others and Become Our Best Self

The journey toward becoming your best self is a parallel adventure. It starts with becoming an ally within yourself. That means working on your Self and partnering with your Self before venturing to help others as an ally or collaborator. The change must begin with you, on your own, and that is like a sacred passage to know that you can be the catalyst, the instrument, and, eventually, the helping accomplice. 

Allies move beyond awareness that biases are real and want to help change things. Becoming a true ally means working as an advocate for those experiencing oppressions.

If you are already an ally, be open to looking closely at some unconscionable atrocities involving Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC), LGBTQIA, homeless persons, and gender diverse persons. You can likely do more to reach your higher potential, for yourself and those affected by oppression. 

When we expand to becoming collaborators, we reach even further to help others and confront crises with equanimity and a sense of belonging. A collaborator actively takes part in change and directly works alongside communities and organizations they support.

Here are some ways to prepare to enhance your allyship:

1. Make a choice to consciously look beyond your comfortable existence and see the pain in the world that you might want to lessen and the situations you might be able to uplift. Even if you don’t know how, decide to consciously look beyond your cozy life and see what’s happening in the world that you might wish to decrease.
2. Keep life fresh and interesting by trying new things and getting to know new people outside your circle of friends.
   
   
3. Try accepting this diverse world with all its various people, languages, and pronouns, even if they are not what you are used to.
4. Start to create a new vision, a fresh perspective for the world that you have never thought about or had before.
5. Let go of something you might normally compete with and try instead to cooperate with it (be it a person or thing).
6. In situations where you see a person (or people) experiencing separation and exclusion, find a way to include that person(s) in your activity. Show that you care.
7. Share enthusiasm. The cliche is true: It’s contagious.
8. Earn trust by not revealing secrets entrusted to you.

By practicing these things, we can be ready to work side-by-side with others, reach a higher potential, become our best selves, and help inspire more people to do the same.

Written by LaVerne McLeod

First published, July 10, 2023 by Esalen Institute, Big Sur, CA